Sunday, September 21, 2014

My Toolbox

It's been awhile since I've posted much recently..I've been taking a personal sabbatical from social media and sharing. Now that some time has passed, I've been reflecting on some of those reasons and wanted to share that with all of you. This has been a period of reflection and resetting of sorts regarding my goals, balance of work and home life, and priorities...
...and overriding all of this, perspective. 

Here are a few things I've focused on this year:
1) Revising the ol' website
2) Ongoing personal challenge to sketch and post a day for 365 days
3) Make Art That Sells Online course A from April-May - 5 weeks, 5 projects
2) MATS Bootcamp - from May through August
3) SCBWI Tomie dePaola contest entry
4) Global Talent Search - August
5) Design client work
6) New client work
7) family, family, family
8) ongoing sketching and painting

Now that some time has passed, I now realize I've stepped back from sharing a bit because I've been a bit out of balance, and feeling some self-doubt in my personal artistic abilities...I think it's natural to feel a bit low when you get some really cool opportunities to show your stuff, but then it doesn't pan out. Bouncing back is something I've been reflecting upon, and the older I get, the more I delve into my "personal toolbox" to help me through.

I'm not sure where I found the toolbox concept, or if I created it myself, but for me, it makes sense. In life, we go to school, we're taught and leave with tools to build our future - words, numbers, social skills, physical training, etc. In my career and home life, I have added lots of tools that have helped build up my strength in areas of weakness, and have guided me when I hit some stumbling blocks. Break through with those tools, right?! :)

So on the journey of reflection, I've discovered a lot about myself..some added benefits of the classes, I suppose! I realized overall, that I'm very competitive with myself, and unfortunately, that generates a bit of over-working and craziness in my quest to create something "worthy". Having so many assignments in a short amount of time put me on a self-induced hamster wheel of sorts, working and working really hard and losing a bit of perspective on my health and family life. Not great! Then I added Bootcamp to my workload, and though slower paced, I was still on the hamster wheel.
Home Decor for MATS A
MATS Bootcamp wall art piece
Then, in August, I decided to join in on the Global Talent Search. Looking back, I'm glad that I did. My curiosity fed my hard work and interest, and of course the very faint hope that perhaps I could place in the top 50. It didn't happen, and to be honest, I was disappointed for many, including myself, though now looking at those who have continued on the path, I understand why my piece didn't continue on. What I do realize so clearly now, is that there is a place for every artist out there. Art can be so many things, it can be something you wish to market, or something for personal use or it could be something that simply resonates with someone. As a creator, I am always in awe of the beauty in our world: nature, music, words, poetry, fashion, food, animals, design, kindness, art. I am really grateful that there are things in my toolbox that I pull from when I feel low, or not in balance.
My GTS entry for 2014



Some other options for the GTS
Something I turned into a bday card for Judy Schachner, a huge raccoon lover,
and awesome illustrator of Skippy Jon Jones and then some.

Looking back on such a busy beginning of the year, and some artistic ups and downs, I realize that there was something sorely missing in my routine..and that was exercise. For the first part of the year, I let myself get so tunnel-visioned and focused on my artistic endeavors, that I let myself get wayyy out of hand. Pants were feeling tighter, energy was lower, and I had more headaches, and there was some anger too. Shortness with my family and hubby, and impatience seemed to flair up a lot.

view after my walk with the dog..boy do we need rain!
So back in June, during the hottest part of the summer, I committed to walking more. Long story short, I fell off of my exercise routine last Fall, and decided to commit again. I wish I were one of those who "loved" to exercise, and found it as easy to do as getting up in the morning, but I unfortunately am not. I realize now that for myself, walking in the morning, no matter what else is pulling me to get back to work, is JUST AS, if not more important that work responsibilities. If I'm not feeling good, how is the work supposed to be good?

I've got some things on the horizon I'm excited to share..and will promise to do so this week when I get the a-ok. I'm grateful for so many things..health, family, my art, career, friends, the blessings of nature and animal friends. You'll see a lot of things in the toolbox above that give me strength, my family, my mom, paper and books... - and I'm leaving you with something to ponder for yourself.
...What's in your toolbox?

Thanks so much for reading if you've gotten this far! And thanks for visiting..it means a lot to me ~ Shirley

41 comments:

  1. Wonderful post, shirley and a good question to ponder. All my best, and miss you :) Mette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, dear Mette..I miss you too and thank you for stopping by. It's been good to step away a bit, for sure but it is also wonderful to slog through the assignments with supportive friends such as you. Thanks Mette!

      Delete
  2. Thanks for sharing Shirley - I really enjoyed reading and understand aspects of what you have described. I certainly need more balance away from that hamster you describe & yes more exercise for me too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Ohn! I know you and Mette know the level of intensity it has been...you take care and I wish for you more time for you too!

      Delete
  3. Lovely to see your image for GTS, and to see another blog post. Sorry to read of all the wrestling of life and art and everything you have been pondering over, but it sounds like you have found a resolution and will balance things in a healthier way.
    I hope you are feeling new creative excitement with your plans for the way forward.
    Now... I'll have to think what's in my tool box.... I know there will be a rabbit in there for sure, and some birds, and colours....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. June, I've missed you! Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot - and I do know you've got a rabbit, and some fabulous chickens and a bear in your toolbox! :) Hope you've been well!

      Delete
    2. I'm doing fine thanks Shirley... trying to get back to creating images :)

      Delete
  4. Wonderful post... so open and honest and real. You are not alone my dear! I think artists all have periods of up/down, ego, self-worth, doubt, etc... but I love that you are exploring yourself as an artist and person. So good! As for my toolbox, I tend to try and surround myself with positive people... good begets good, same with energy. AND yes to the classes, workshops and exercise. I enjoy yoga and think that is the perfect compliment to getting my mind/body all synced up and ready to create. PLUS it helps stretch out after hours seated in the studio. HUGS and lots of creative energy to you! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa, it's a treat to read your comment..it's good to hear I'm not alone..sometimes it feels a bit lonely and worrisome, but I thankfully keep reaching in my toobox. GREAT to read what's in yours..these are some fabulous tools and I think you've got a lot of great energy pushing you forward. SO happy for you..and I will definitely keep pushing forward too (with exercise) :)

      Delete
  5. Thanks for sharing Shirley. I like your whole toolbox concept and it has given me food for thought.
    Lovely images, as always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah! Thank you dear Vicki for visiting and leaving such a nice comment..glad the toolbox concept has ya thinking. I'm using it for my kids too - having them think about what they would put in their boxes if/when things go wrong or they run into disappointment and such. Hope you've been well!

      Delete
  6. Ooooooohhhh I read every word. I have to return to comment because I am on my phone and my fingers are too fat for the keyboard. Shirley, I love love love you and your candor, your honesty. You are one amazing lady and I think many women who have so many roles have been through similar situation. I can relate, yes, but I am not as conscientious. Okay. More later. I think thinking about it and identifying your situation is a big step!!! So congratulations for taking the most important step! Tsup!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are SO sweet, Ces. THANK YOU for reading every word...I commend you for being so patient. I dunno...taking this break has been very enlightening for me. There were a lot of things pulling me in different ways and so stepping back has greatly helped me see the bigger picture..and health definitely rules, doesn't it?! Ha! You are so generous it makes me blush...thank you dear Ces..TSUP! And you are conscientious, I know it!!

      Delete
  7. Wow, Shirley…such an insightful post! I have been in similar shoes, the last being about a year and half ago when I finally "woke up" and realized that I had spent 2 years working 24/7 without weekends off or a vacation. When I went to my doctor, my blood pressure was up, as was my cholesteral. I decided enough was enough and got a Fitbit. I'm a bit obsessive and have done my 10,000 steps or more everyday since and it has changed so much for me. It is first on my priority list for the day. I feel so much better, mood is better, weight is down a bit, doctor is happy, dog is happy :) I think exercise is the best tool in the toolbox as it doesn't require much except walking out the front door and taking a break.

    You have accomplished so much in the last year!! I've kept track of your work in all the MATS classes and you are an extremely talented artist and designer! I know it's hard to not get kudos from Lilla. Once I started to realize that she is working just as hard as the rest of us to promote her brand and make a living, I started to view the competition side of it differently. I use it as a means to grow my own art and create new and interesting pieces for my portfolio. I love seeing what others are doing and hope that somehow all her lessons and advice are sinking in….

    Your work and social presence is very inspirational Shirley. But we all need breaks and time to reinvent ourselves every once and awhile. Good for you for stepping back and taking inventory. Sounds like you are on the right track! Can't wait to see what you are up to next!

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deb! I'm so grateful that you wrote..wow, 2 years, without weekends off or a vacation is just toooo long..I'm SO glad that you are on your new routine and that you, your Dr., and your doggie are happier. I've noticed that my dog is looking a little more fit, so I translate that to hoping that I'm looking a little more fit too (I hope!) :) Anyway, you are so sweet to write and take note of my MATS work - and your words make SO much sense re: the courses. I love what you wrote about Lilla's classes..the cerebral side of me agrees with, and is what I ultimately feel is what I gained from the classes, but the competitive side of me took some dings in the process..and that has been enlightening! I have definitely added new tools from her courses and that is a giant plus! I need to check in and see what you've been up to..I've been tardy at blog visiting, but I'm gonna try to be better. I am cheering you on as you make your 10,000 steps each day..you are an inspiration!

      Delete
  8. great perspective and insight, thanks for sharing Shirley- i will always be a fan and i am taking your words to heart- i agree with Deb (above)on using the class as a growth op -KEEP MAKING BEAUTIFUL ART! i am going to access my tool box now :) xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Lynn!! Right back atcha re: me being a fan of yours, always. Thank you for being such a positive and generous presence during MATS and GTS. Your beautiful work shines almost as brightly as your beautiful spirit. I am grateful we've continued our friendship beyond AG..it is fabulous, my friend! xo

      Delete
    2. I should say it shines JUST AS brightly as your spirit. :)

      Delete
  9. What a great post, and something I can resinate with completely right now in my life. The self-doubt, the stress of trying to do my best work on little to no sleep, illnesses that occur as a result (shingles, lymph nodes out of whack, the never ending colds), not to mention the weight gain. The inability to be a good mother, good wife, all the things that fall through the cracks because my mind is in a million other places besides the present, and I'm just so tired.

    I don't know you personally, but I know that your work is just lovely, and filled with a joy and intensity that has to, and should be, expressed. Good for you for taking the time to step back and get a better feel for everything that's swirling around you. And thank you for sharing, so that we know we're not alone, and know that you're not alone.

    My tools: Really trying to discover/make time for them. Walking. Years ago, I was a runner, but a nasty injury and surgery has left me unable to run. But walking, I am slowly able to do more and more of. I've devoted myself to walking my older kids to school each day, about 2 miles round trip. Also, allowing myself to not be my little kids' entertainer all the time. I refuse to do housework once they're in bed--that's my time to work. So I go old school on them and let them entertain themselves, as long as blood is not shed. And then I unapologetically get as much done as I can, Pinterest good-mom-crafts be damned. Another tool is asking for help, whether in the form of babysitters, car pooling, the pizza delivery man, neighbors. And most importantly, making every minute of the evenings count by making art. It's my therapy, my meditation, my pill.

    I look forward to your news, and wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you SO much for writing. OH gosh, shingles, lymph nodes, colds?!! Being so many roles all at once, I can relate! It's great to read of your toolbox. I tell you, to step back and define what you need and then commit to doing that for you, and most importantly for your health and sanity, is a GIANT step and I know that the positives from this will continue to multiply. Good for you and thank you - I wish you all the best too!!

      Delete
  10. Shirley, your tool box is so full, it's overflowing! Your GTS submission is so stunning… I can't believe the extras you did as well. I totally relate to what you are saying especially in terms of taking care of yourself. You've made me think about my habits and I know I need to get out more, if for no there reason than my poor dog's sake. You have such a gift to be able to create the most beautifully sweet images. Thank you for sharing them… you are an inspiration to so many artists, take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jill, my dear buddy, you are so generous and this means a lot to me. I am grateful for your positive presence along with Lynn's during class and beyond. The level of professionalism and talent you embody is something very inspirational for me, and it keeps me striving. I tell you, you never cease to amaze me with your fabulous work.

      I hear you..my dog is definitely happier now that I've committed to my walking routine! I am wishing you all the best as you map out your strategy in that realm..I'm still a work-in-progress, especially as the cold weather will come in..so wish me luck! :) Hugs!

      Delete
  11. Thank you, wonderful Shirley! I am finding myself at a crossroad, and stopping to look around, I'm amazed at where I am, without really noticing how I got here. My children are nearly grown and independent of me, and for the first time I'm able to think of what the future may hold for just me. I've so many dreams yet unfulfilled, I do hope I can realize some of them. As for my toolbox, it needs a bit of sorting. The love of family and friends has always been my greatest tool, and my faith in a loving Heavenly Father. It's time I put my fears and self-doubts aside. Thanks for inspiring me. I do so admire you and wish you well on your journey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elise, you are such a generous soul..and so very talented and kind. I am grateful for your generous words. It's fabulous to have the strength of your family, and your faith! I am wishing you strength and clarity as that toolbox is sorted, and as you embark on YOUR path! I will be cheering you on and will continue to enjoy your wonderful art and posts.

      Delete
  12. So glad you wrote this post. It's an odd thing that we don't share our lows as readily as our highs, and that the constant sharing of great news is so often more depressing because we tend to compare (thank you, broken school system!). And yet when we do get the courage to share woes, friends come out to wrap their arms around us and more often than not reveal their truths too, relieved to find solidarity. So count me in as a commrade! I use badminton, not the garden variety, to balance my physical health, which is more than meditation for me - I get so focused on the next second that I often forget the score! And as for all you have accomplished this year for your illustration and personal inspiration, wow! I mean WOW! I am so glad you've shared your dailies - it's been great getting to know a part of you bit by bit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! Julie, that is amazing re: your badminton playing..I am sure you a fierce competitor. Awesome! I thank you for being a comrade and sharing your thoughts here..it means a great deal. It IS strange how the sharing of soo much good news could cause an adverse affect. I think pulling back and gaining some perspective has definitely helped me feel better for sure. Thank you - I agree..it's been delightful getting to know you better this year. Thanks for your support!!

      Delete
  13. Shirley I guess many of us had the same issue with exercising...I really got quickly back in the game after giving birth to Lora and then just like you, I took so much on me and had my vision tunneled towards developing further my art career that I've fell off the vagon :( and just like you there was anger and not spending enough time with my family, not good at all :( and 2m ago I threw in the towel and said what's enough is enough and got on my exercising routine again...I'm a sporty person, always been , but on some days when I'm tired from kids, and cleaning and working on a piece, all I wanna do is fall onto my bed and sleep but I force myself to exercise and it's been good! I've changed my diet completely as well, after 2 yrs of feeling bloated and not knowing why, I finally realised, by pure randomness that I'm lactose intolerant :) go figure :) haha Bit going back to your question, my 1st and foremost 'tool' in my toolbox is my relationship with God, He truly is my strenght in every possible situation! Then my kids and my family, good friends, I live a very active life as far as exercising, I love power walking with my Mom and my Bodyrock routine. I love spending quality time with my close friends and I love having movie date nights with my hubby :) And this yr has been a fenomenal one with getting to know some of the artists better and being able to rely on them, you know you're one of them! :) As far as your GTS piece-I already told you I adore it, esp. the little hanginh guy-too sweet! and I love the feel it gives, it actually reminded me of Enid Blyton's kid's novels...dunno why :) Thank you for sharing all this Shirley and pls you know you can email me whenever you want if you need encouragement in any part you need it...even exercising! :) xoxoxox my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You my friend have been SUCH a great support through all of bootcamp and GTS and even beforehand..I thank you so much for your wisdom and shots of good energy..they've been greatly appreciated! It's great to hear about your exercise regime and what's in your toolbox..such powerful tools they are. Thank you for your very kind words about my GTS and characters..that means a lot! My goodness, referencing Enid Blyton's work is just really so awesome..I thank you!! I will definitely keep in touch my friend! Hugs to you!

      Delete
  14. Shirley, you have been missed at the usual places, but I think everybody can understand the need to take a break from all the hype that bombards us from all angles on the Internet (to do, join, make!) and elsewhere. You are so right to recognize that about the time it all gets to be a bit too much and out of whack, is exactly the time to take a step back and examine things from a different perspective. That toolbox sure comes in handy, and it's always within reach! I hope it's helpful to know that there are so many other artists who are currently navigating similar paths. We all find our various successes when it's our turn. Nobody else can really determine that for us, as it all comes from within. And don't forget, (and I am speaking from personal experience, I've hit some "low points" myself, recently...Maybe I was using the wrong tools!) "What doesn't kill us..." etc., right? ;o)
    P.S. I do LOVE your ocean themed wall art!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How awesome to hear from you Michele - and I am really glad I posted this as it sure feels like we all experience these periods from time to time..the good thing though is that it really forces us to reach down and figure out what will help us push through and persevere! I sometimes wonder if too much internet is a bad thing. I know it definitely can suck up a lot of time, but there are definite benefits for sure. I've gotten to know you through the years and that is an excellent thing. I hope you've been well and working on some wonderful projects! You are so kind re: the ocean piece..thank you!! Wishing you a lovely Fall ahead!

      Delete
  15. Welcome back! I read that you have questioned whether your work is "worthy"..........Shirley, every time I see one of your sweet characters, I get a soft, warm & fuzzy feeling. There is just something about their inherent personalities that resonates with me, as I'm sure it resonates with others. I "get" being your own worst critic, and a perfectionist. I am both, myself. And art is probably the MOST subjective thing of all, so I guess it makes sense that being an artist (especially an illustrator, who caters to clients and is often not creating art for the sake of creating art) is somewhat of a roller coaster ride, with big highs, and bigger disappointments, since we're often relying on someone else's opinion to validate us. But let me tell you, my friend. YOUR work is worthy. Without a doubt.

    Oh. And regarding your comments about exercise? Getting out of bed is NOT easy for me in the morning....and I am JUST as enthusiastic about exercising! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mit! Thank you thank you so very much!! Your words mean a great deal! I LOVE your fabulously fun characters and your work always makes me smile. It resonates with me, too! Yes, that roller coaster got a bit BIG this year..but I'm glad I've gotten off for a bit to see the sights. Thank you for saying my work is worthy..I know it's what I have to do because I love doing it so much..so thank you for the validation!!

      I am wishing you a beautiful fall and hope that your mornings become easier and easier..wish me luck as it gets into winter...yikes!!

      Delete
  16. Awww, look at all these great responses. Well you know I love you and your work. I have doubts all the time, even as I am working. I think it's just part of being artistic. I'm sure even the greatest artists have had doubts at least once and probably dozens of times.

    As for the GTS, I entered too and the first thing my family said about the top 50 was that they were all the same style with the exception of one piece and that style wasn't mine. LOL
    But I had fun making the piece and I love yours.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karen! I am grateful that we've known each other for so long now here at our blogs..what a fabulous fabulous gift it is. I have seen such amazing successes in your work my friend! Woweee!! I need to see your piece, Karen! Frankly I viewed the GTS 999 one day, swiftly, but now I will scour it to see yours. It's great to hear you had fun making the piece..that is key. I had a great time making mine too..I laugh at the raccoon for sure..and that was good to get out of my system and enjoy during the whole process. OK, I'm gonna go check it out! Hugs to you!

      Delete
  17. This is a lovely post Shirley; so open and honest and vulnerable! It really resonated with my own journey right now. I agree - exercise (even just a brief walk outside) is MANDATORY. The work will always be there but your health won't. Exercise also helps with stress and I like to believe it opens up divine communication. the more you breathe and the more oxygen enters your body the more apt you are to hearing the 'voices' of your personal guardian angels whispering their guidance. I have received some amazing insight and inspiration during long walks or other forms of exercise. Meditation is also important for the creative spirit. The more you quiet your mind the clearer your thoughts are. Thank you for sharing. I love your work so much. Don't focus on the doors that close as missed opportunities but see them as experience and much needed challenges to get you where you are SUPPOSED to be. There is only ONE of you. much love. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh what generous thoughts and words, Elizabeth. I'm really really grateful that you posted here and shared your experience with walking and exercise and how it benefits you, the amazing artist that you are. It is definitely inspiring for me to hear of your clarity during meditation and exercise....awesome! With patience, perseverence and being a little less hard on myself, I hope to get there. And yes, I am seeing the other side of the missed opportunities as definitely growth and learning experience..and for that I am grateful. You are so kind, I am grateful that I've been able to see your amazing work through the years and thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom. Hugs to you, Elizabeth!

      Delete
  18. What a beautiful post, I totally understand how you feel,I had the same problems and feelings. Don't give up,you are not alone, Hugs:) And I love your illustrations,they are so beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica! Thank you so very much..it's great to hear that I am not the only one! Hugs to you too..you have been such a great buddy out here on the web..thank you so much for your years of support. I am here for you too!

      Delete
  19. Lovely post Shirley, i love your work and also get that warm fuzzy feeling over your cute characters as someone mentioned above. You've certainly instigated some responses here as the comments show, we all feel like this, probably most of the time. YOU work SO hard, I couldn't believe all the work you were doing, this is all good, I think you are driven and it shows, but do give yourself time, especially the exercise time, it is VERY good for you. I know other people who have done the mats courses,etc, I think they are a positive thing, but just go steady :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Julie, I sincerely appreciate your super generous words about my work..many thanks!! I definitely can get on that hamster wheel and spin myself crazy..so yes, it's great to get off and get some perspective. Thank you for the reminder to ease off on that gas pedal! :) Hope you've been well and thanks for taking the time to comment!

      Delete
  20. Thanks for sharing Shirley, i have the same hamster wheel feeling, i guess it happens because an artist is never completely satisfied with his work.
    Exercise help a lot to free your mind and lower stress level: as you i try to go for a long walk through the nature at least once a week and when i go back home my body is tired but my mind is reinvigorated!

    ReplyDelete

Feedback! You rock! Thanks for your words...